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I am seeking experience opinion and rational opinion on having a relationship. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year. She is Catholic and raised as such. She believes in God and of common values expected. Myself, on the other hand, am objectivist. I believe in rational non-mystical values.

asked Jul 31 '11 at 14:07

Galt0902's gravatar image


edited Jul 31 '11 at 20:31

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Greg Perkins ♦♦

Leonard Peikoff answered a similar question on his podcast: http://www.peikoff.com/2008/05/19/should-an-objectivist-pursue-a-serious-romantic-relationship-with-a-christian/

(Jul 31 '11 at 19:51) Andrew Dalton ♦ Andrew%20Dalton's gravatar image

Based on my experience, a devout atheist dating a devout religionist is definitely a red flag, because it usually indicates a deeply different way of viewing life and the world around us.

The concept of love requires shared values. It's certainly possible for an Objectivist and a Catholic to have shared values -- particularly since some Objectivists aren't consistent in their values, and almost all Catholics aren't either. If it was just a difference in the belief or lack of belief in God, that would be one thing, but it rarely stops there. Altruism, for example, is often at the core of religious values, and directly conflicts with the Objectivist value of selfishness.

Relationships are difficult enough without significant philosophical differences. The key is probably what you're looking for in the long term. Would you like to have kids? If so, would the areas where your values conflict (you mentioned atheism) be a source of friction in raising them? If you ran into challenges together, do you have the ability to reason them out? Or does it devolve into emotion?

answered Jul 31 '11 at 22:09

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Rick ♦

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Asked: Jul 31 '11 at 14:07

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Last updated: Jul 31 '11 at 22:09