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After 16 years the spark seems to have dimmed in my relationship. How do I rekindle the fire we once had?

asked Jan 30 '11 at 08:31

Prometheus1's gravatar image

Prometheus1 ♦

I don't think Objectivism has any specific advice on this question, but there are quite a few Objectivists who may. My top recommendation would be to listen to (and perhaps call in for) Dr. Ellen Kenner's radio show, The Rational Basis of Happiness, or consider buying her book, The Selfish Path to Romance.

answered Jan 30 '11 at 18:27

Andrew%20Miner's gravatar image

Andrew Miner ♦

edited Feb 11 '11 at 03:16

The question asks: "How do I rekindle the fire we once had?"

Perhaps the best approach would be to focus on what you still see and admire in each other, and how to move forward from that. The question as stated may be focused too much on the past, although an understanding of what the original "fire" was based on and why it has largely died out could be very helpful in understanding how to build on what still remains and move forward. Was anything of value achieved during the 16 years of the relationship up to now? An understanding of that may further help to bring focus to how you might be able to proceed in the future, especially if any children are involved and if you have found the children rewarding.

The recently published book, The Selfish Path to Romance: How to Love with Passion and Reason by Edwin Locke and Ellen Kenner may also be of assistance. I haven't had time to read it yet myself, but I have high regard for the authors (long-time Objectivists).

answered Jan 30 '11 at 18:36

Ideas%20for%20Life's gravatar image

Ideas for Life ♦

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Asked: Jan 30 '11 at 08:31

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Last updated: Feb 11 '11 at 03:16